that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize