carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
false alarm. still invincible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize