i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize