I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
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I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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