I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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