it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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