The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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