that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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