Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
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I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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