I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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