I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
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just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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