Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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