I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize