I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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