I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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