tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
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I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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