my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize