Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
4 words: hood of his car
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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