Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I have fence marks all over my body
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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