Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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