Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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