But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
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I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
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Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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