At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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