I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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