You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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