After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
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Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
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I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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