At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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