4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
When are your genitals available?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize