Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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