I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize