he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize