Someone shit on the floor
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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