Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
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i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
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Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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