what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
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I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
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On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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