The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize