what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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