Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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