You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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