help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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