...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
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