No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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