Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize