Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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