so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
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at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
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If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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