my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize