I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
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did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
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I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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