Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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