Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
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How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
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I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
the raccoons are back...
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