And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize