I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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